Friday, September 24, 2010

All Bi Myself

Thanks for CLICKing your way here. I guess most of you found your way here from RaveChix, welcome one and all! I know this post isn't really me, but thank you for allowing me to share this with you. 

I've known I was a bisexual since I was 12. I'm 17, a college freshman,  and my parents don't know because I'm too afraid and embarrassed to tell them.

Every day I wonder if I'm imagining these feelings, wishing I didn't have them, or wanting to explore them further. Sometimes I stare out my window with tears slowly streaming down my cheeks. I feel broken. Typically I'm far from the sad, brooding, pathetic teenager type--typically.

I've had boyfriends and girlfriends with varying degrees of success. I was straight for him, gay for her, you know? And now I've met someone. We just 'clicked.' She's adorable and funny and we can talk about  everything until sunrise. I would joke with her about us being a couple and she agreed, we'd make the perfect couple. I want to have her in my life. I want the chance to love her.

Last weekend we were doing movies at her place: Top 10 Saddest Movies of All Time. I brought lots of extra tissues 'cuz we were going to need them.

We made it through Terms of Endearment, Steel Magnolias, and Beaches. By then our eyes hurt from all the tears and we were awash with emotions. We were nearing the end of My Girl when...trying to seize the opportunity...I took a chance...I leaned over and kissed her. My heart lept from my chest as our lips met.

She just laid there, frozen. I kissed her again and for a moment she seemed to kiss me back. I felt her lips, our tongues met...I didn't imagine that. And then it happened: she pushed me away and told me that I should leave because she's tired. I left horrified and SO so embarrassed. I've tried to reach out, to explain, to...apologize?...she won't see me, she won't talk to me. Is our friendship over? Have I lost her forever? In my entire life I have never felt more alone, confused, or as afraid as I do now. Am I broken? I feel broken.

I want nothing more than to cry in my daddy's arms. He always knows the right thing to say, gives the best advice, and is hands-down the most supportive person I know. If it were a guy, no problem, but a girl? No, not that. I don't think I could ever tell him that. Not religious, my parents just feel it's against nature. Am I?

Everyone I know can go through their day without giving their sexual identity a single thought. Why do I flip between gay and straight? What is wrong with me? Why can't this ONE FUCKING THING be easy?


Kasey Confused, period.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

KC.'s thoughts on Twilight & Duct Tape

Someone said to me today "[KC.], you like Twilight?" To which I happily replied "YES! and NO!" (original emphasis). And he looked bewildered either because I gave a conflicting answer or because it was a little early on a Sunday for his world to get so loud. I like to think a little of both :P

I like the books very much. 'Course I like vampire stories. It's just hard to find one anymore that can give a unique vampire spin. Well, there's nothing really unique about these books except it's very good storytelling. That's what the Harry Potter books did for me, Rowling generated emotion by connecting events in the book with events in my life, my loves, my schoolgirl uncertainty and fears. Meyers did every bit of that.

The movie might have been bearable if Kristen Stewart had duct tape over her mouth the entire time.

 Edward: "I love you."
Bella: "..."
See what I mean? Tell me that's not fucked up.
Let's explore this further...
  1. We'd be spared the brooding, ignorant, snotty and snobby facial expressions.
  2. With half of her face covered in tape we might be tricked into thinking she passes for cute. I mean really...this bitch from sunny Phoenix, AZ has the mingingest white skin I have ever seen. Is she albino?
  3. And the st-stu-stu-stu-studdering and st-sta-sta-sta-stammering through the entire script makes me want to slap her SO sobad! I mean, just one good whack oughtta knock that out of her, right? Was anyone else provoked to physical violence in the theater?
  4. She can't act. Not even a little. And I mean that. I imagine they put as much thought into who would play Bella as what kind of pizza they'd have delivered. How the hell Edward could 'fall in love' with, not just a human mind you, but the vapid narcissistic queen bitch Bella is beyond my comprehension. With a fateful of duct tape she could focus on sitting, standing, walking, and running. That shouldn't overtax her abilities.

I have not and will not watch New Moon. I have too much respect for myself than to go through that all over again. lol

That's my two copper pieces :P


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

RaveChix has moved!

Attention: Hey everybody, thanks for coming!

I think I've gotten the URL changed the right way. You should be able to click HERE to be taken to our new home!

Here is the new URL if you need it:

Looking forward to seeing you all there!