Sunday, September 12, 2010

KC.'s thoughts on Twilight & Duct Tape

Someone said to me today "[KC.], you like Twilight?" To which I happily replied "YES! and NO!" (original emphasis). And he looked bewildered either because I gave a conflicting answer or because it was a little early on a Sunday for his world to get so loud. I like to think a little of both :P

I like the books very much. 'Course I like vampire stories. It's just hard to find one anymore that can give a unique vampire spin. Well, there's nothing really unique about these books except it's very good storytelling. That's what the Harry Potter books did for me, Rowling generated emotion by connecting events in the book with events in my life, my loves, my schoolgirl uncertainty and fears. Meyers did every bit of that.

The movie might have been bearable if Kristen Stewart had duct tape over her mouth the entire time.

 Edward: "I love you."
Bella: "..."
See what I mean? Tell me that's not fucked up.
Let's explore this further...
  1. We'd be spared the brooding, ignorant, snotty and snobby facial expressions.
  2. With half of her face covered in tape we might be tricked into thinking she passes for cute. I mean really...this bitch from sunny Phoenix, AZ has the mingingest white skin I have ever seen. Is she albino?
  3. And the st-stu-stu-stu-studdering and st-sta-sta-sta-stammering through the entire script makes me want to slap her SO sobad! I mean, just one good whack oughtta knock that out of her, right? Was anyone else provoked to physical violence in the theater?
  4. She can't act. Not even a little. And I mean that. I imagine they put as much thought into who would play Bella as what kind of pizza they'd have delivered. How the hell Edward could 'fall in love' with, not just a human mind you, but the vapid narcissistic queen bitch Bella is beyond my comprehension. With a fateful of duct tape she could focus on sitting, standing, walking, and running. That shouldn't overtax her abilities.

I have not and will not watch New Moon. I have too much respect for myself than to go through that all over again. lol

That's my two copper pieces :P



  1. I watched the first one and i was disgusted by the horrible acting. I dont understand how people like it so much?

  2. Granted I haven't read the books, I know they're a million times better than Kristin Stewart's acting.

  3. Bah, the films are just horrible and not only for Bella, they are just trite and unoriginal.

  4. I've heard good things about the books, I could never subject myself to the movies though. I thought I was the only person who thought Kristin Stewart was completely and utterly unattractive. The fact that she apparently cannot act is not helping her case.

  5. i like the parts with anna kendrick, ashley greene, and christian serratos

    also, with regard to canon: JJ Abrams is to Star Trek as Stephanie Meyer is to vampires

    and also also, please disable your captchas

  6. true true
    I'd better watch true blood than Twilight

  7. lol twilight is so....idek just makes me go wut?

  8. i never watched that movie just heard it's about a emo and some indian going at it.

  9. ...Twilight. I think that I would've given the books a chance, but by the time I got to them, they were already in the hands of 10,000,000 screaming emos and teeny boppers.

    Just turned me off.

    Much love to ya'.
    New review!

  10. i will grant you support regardless of how i feel about twilight

  11. Wow, didn't even think to check in my other blog here. This was just me playing around and checking things out. Thanks for your comments guys! You'll be seeing be tapping around your blogs shortly!

  12. twilight is sad, so sad necrophilia has never been so main stream

  13. Sweaty vampires.. not my cup of tea

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  15. I can't stand the god damn Twilight series. They should all be hung. Not just the "actors", but everyone involved along with their families and pets. Black death ain't got nuttin' on this scourge.

  16. I read Necroscope when I was 14. After that as a baseline, I just can't handle the new angsty, teenage vampire stories. Twilight is the worst of the all. I read the first one. This pretty much sums up my thoughts-

  17. I unfortunately(or fotunately) haven't seen that movie yet but after this review I guess i'll pass =P