Sunday, September 12, 2010

KC.'s thoughts on Twilight & Duct Tape

Someone said to me today "[KC.], you like Twilight?" To which I happily replied "YES! and NO!" (original emphasis). And he looked bewildered either because I gave a conflicting answer or because it was a little early on a Sunday for his world to get so loud. I like to think a little of both :P

I like the books very much. 'Course I like vampire stories. It's just hard to find one anymore that can give a unique vampire spin. Well, there's nothing really unique about these books except it's very good storytelling. That's what the Harry Potter books did for me, Rowling generated emotion by connecting events in the book with events in my life, my loves, my schoolgirl uncertainty and fears. Meyers did every bit of that.

The movie might have been bearable if Kristen Stewart had duct tape over her mouth the entire time.

 Edward: "I love you."
Bella: "..."
See what I mean? Tell me that's not fucked up.
Let's explore this further...
  1. We'd be spared the brooding, ignorant, snotty and snobby facial expressions.
  2. With half of her face covered in tape we might be tricked into thinking she passes for cute. I mean really...this bitch from sunny Phoenix, AZ has the mingingest white skin I have ever seen. Is she albino?
     
  3. And the st-stu-stu-stu-studdering and st-sta-sta-sta-stammering through the entire script makes me want to slap her SO sobad! I mean, just one good whack oughtta knock that out of her, right? Was anyone else provoked to physical violence in the theater?
     
  4. She can't act. Not even a little. And I mean that. I imagine they put as much thought into who would play Bella as what kind of pizza they'd have delivered. How the hell Edward could 'fall in love' with, not just a human mind you, but the vapid narcissistic queen bitch Bella is beyond my comprehension. With a fateful of duct tape she could focus on sitting, standing, walking, and running. That shouldn't overtax her abilities.

I have not and will not watch New Moon. I have too much respect for myself than to go through that all over again. lol

That's my two copper pieces :P

KC.
Posted by at

23 comments:

  1. Lil PeeSeptember 13, 2010 at 1:35 AM

    I watched the first one and i was disgusted by the horrible acting. I dont understand how people like it so much?

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  2. FIAINSeptember 13, 2010 at 1:56 AM

    Granted I haven't read the books, I know they're a million times better than Kristin Stewart's acting.

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  3. KevorkianSeptember 13, 2010 at 1:57 AM

    Bah, the films are just horrible and not only for Bella, they are just trite and unoriginal.

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  4. mastajonSeptember 13, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    I've heard good things about the books, I could never subject myself to the movies though. I thought I was the only person who thought Kristin Stewart was completely and utterly unattractive. The fact that she apparently cannot act is not helping her case.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Katie GreeneSeptember 13, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    i like the parts with anna kendrick, ashley greene, and christian serratos

    also, with regard to canon: JJ Abrams is to Star Trek as Stephanie Meyer is to vampires

    and also also, please disable your captchas

    ReplyDelete
  6. SkyshockSeptember 13, 2010 at 9:17 PM

    my reply would be
    NO
    and
    NO

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 13, 2010 at 10:09 PM

    true true
    I'd better watch true blood than Twilight

    ReplyDelete
  8. chasityxoSeptember 14, 2010 at 6:42 AM

    lol twilight is so....idek just makes me go wut?

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  9. FreeMeSeptember 14, 2010 at 7:53 AM

    i never watched that movie just heard it's about a emo and some indian going at it.

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  10. Superhero BobbleheadSeptember 14, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    ...Twilight. I think that I would've given the books a chance, but by the time I got to them, they were already in the hands of 10,000,000 screaming emos and teeny boppers.

    Just turned me off.



    Much love to ya'.
    New review! http://superherobobblehead.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. `†he Պen†al Պasochis†September 14, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    i will grant you support regardless of how i feel about twilight

    http://wordofdodd.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. KC.September 14, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Wow, didn't even think to check in my other blog here. This was just me playing around and checking things out. Thanks for your comments guys! You'll be seeing be tapping around your blogs shortly!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tusseladd på turSeptember 15, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    I didn't really like Twilight that much...

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    twilight is sad, so sad necrophilia has never been so main stream

    ReplyDelete
  15. BarnacleSeptember 16, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    Sweaty vampires.. not my cup of tea

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  16. UnseenSniperSeptember 17, 2010 at 1:11 AM

    Duct tape, best thing ever.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Skutt Panda POSeptember 17, 2010 at 3:08 AM

    vampires? Go in transilvania :)))

    ReplyDelete
  18. AllanSeptember 18, 2010 at 7:56 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AllanSeptember 18, 2010 at 7:57 AM

    I can't stand the god damn Twilight series. They should all be hung. Not just the "actors", but everyone involved along with their families and pets. Black death ain't got nuttin' on this scourge.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jasper AndertonSeptember 18, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    I read Necroscope when I was 14. After that as a baseline, I just can't handle the new angsty, teenage vampire stories. Twilight is the worst of the all. I read the first one. This pretty much sums up my thoughts-

    http://shinga.deviantart.com/art/Head-Trip-Twilight-Sucks-85504254

    ReplyDelete
  21. remziSeptember 20, 2010 at 2:47 AM

    Cool

    ReplyDelete
  22. iammyselfSeptember 20, 2010 at 11:30 PM

    I unfortunately(or fotunately) haven't seen that movie yet but after this review I guess i'll pass =P

    ReplyDelete
  23. Skutt Panda POSeptember 20, 2010 at 11:59 PM

    womans story :P

    ReplyDelete

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